I, like more than half the adults in America, love to drink coffee. I love fancy coffee with long names and frothy toppings, and I love regular coffee, with cream or milk and sugar, and sometimes even black coffee. I started drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups after church on Sundays when I was about 8, and when I was even younger and my parents bought instant coffee, I used to put small amounts of the grounds on my tongue and let them dissolve in my mouth. I was devastated when I moved to Colorado 7 years ago and realized they don’t have Dunkin’ Donuts out there.
The problem for me is, I can’t make coffee. It’s not that I don’t understand the process--it’s fairly straight forward, from what I hear. For our wedding, we received 3 different types of coffee makers, to add to the one we already had. That means we have an electric drip brewer, a caffettiera, a French press, and a cappuccino maker. You’d think I would be able to make satisfactory cup with at least one of these systems.
But you’d be wrong. I have an amazing talent for ruining coffee. I can make it into sludge, I can make lightly tinted water, and I can make a coffee pot explode grounds all over the kitchen. But I can’t make a decent cup of coffee.
Not even, as it turns out, in a (supposedly fool-proof) Keurig machine. This morning marks the third time it has taken more than 2 tries for me to successfully produce a cup of drinkable coffee from this thing. I have so far managed to forget the cup that holds the coffee cartridge, which causes hot water and grounds to seep from several various parts of the machine. I have tried packing my own grounds into the appropriate mini filter, and packed it so tight no water can get through, resulting in an accidental, espresso-esque coffee-sludge. And this morning, I tried that method again, without the over-packing, and it resulted in this mess.
It’s a good thing there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts down the street.